Timbers sign five-year-old goalkeeper

Sorry Sounders (#FuckSeattle), but you can't beat out the home team when it comes to signing a rookie sensation. The Timbers nabbed Portland-native Derrick Tellez, age five, just days before a crucial match against Orlando City.

Derrick is an extremely talented young goalkeeper, and we’re excited to have him signed for this weekend’s game against Orlando City. We are pleased to have him join our club and look forward to his contributions.

-- Caleb Porter, Timbers head coach

Tellez and his agents (parents and Make-a-Wish Oregon) drove a hard bargain, demanding the youngster be guaranteed a first team spot before even joining one practice with the team. The Timbers front office gave in and signed Tellez to a one-game contract for an undisclosed sum. The MLS mimimum salary is 53,000 and Tellez comes in under the 24 years of age bonus cutoff, making him eligible for an extra $750 if he starts the match. There was no word if the Timbers might try to use a Designated Player spot for the goalkeeper and pay him a sum that might keep him from following bigger money to Europe. A league investigation is likely forthcoming.

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The Timbers are currently in 2nd place in the Western Conference following a loss at Salt Lake City last week. The starting keeper, Jeff Attinella, allowed two goals (just saying) in that important match. The race for playoff spots are tight and the Timbers could drop out of contention with losses in their last few matches of the regular season.

Let's hope Derrick Tellez is the spark the Timbers need.

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